The Weekend Circus

I feel like I stepped right out of Barnum and Bailey this weekend. All I was missing was a purple leotard, feathers and glitter. That and a russian accent. So last week one of my closest work friends got the ax. For coupon scamming. Really though? There was $40 dollars missing over a period of 4 weeks. Really? I mean if I was scamming, I'd have got away with soooo much more. Just saying. Oh well.

But for those in the buisness, you know this means we'll slowly drift apart to where we never really talk. Run into each other akwardly at bars. Get sooo excited to see each other. "OMG, I miss you. We HAVE to hang out!!! Call me!" But due to the loss of the common workplace bond, we probably won't. Did we have anything in common other than that? Just wondering...

SoTHEN, Hot Manager gets transferred. WHAT!!!!! Wait. This might work out for me. 'Cause, my internet friends what you do not know and what I've been attempting to tell you isssss (drum roll please) that Hot Manager and I, we've been sleeping together for six months. Since before I came back. And he had nothing to do with the reason why I came back. But it has really sucked. I liked him much more when we didn't work together. He was nicer. And wayyy hotter.

So then, the cook who has worked there for 15+ years gets fired. I'm so upset. I love him! And hate him. It's not gonna be the same without him. Boo.

And then we get to last night. Last night makes me not wanna work Saturdays ANYMORE. I had a table walk in at 12:30. They were AWFUL. I named them in my head. They're names were Quaneesha, Big T, Marlow, and Stacey. And Quaneesha, she was a big momma. And her dress barely covered her lil' momma. Ohhh no. For the sake of all humanity, put some clothes on.

(Side Note: I always name my guests in my head. They we're actually nice, kinda. But they we're the typical trash we get late night. Please don't view these names as any kind of racial slur. Some of my fav guests are all different races and I myself am racially diverse when it comes to the people I am associated with. It really pisses me off when servers think just because a table is not white they won't get a good tip. I get some of my worse tips from middle class white folks.)

Anywho, they order a bottle of Merlot (you know pronounced MUR LOTT) with four glasses. Ohhhhk well I need four ID's then. Surprise, Surprise they only need 3 glasses. So then they order well done steaks and seperate checks and tip me $3.75 and Marlow offers me his number right in front of his anorexic white girlfriend. Classy, buddy. Classy.

The other "closer" didn't sweep his section so I had to do that. And I had the dish guy all over me all night. Apparently, he is quite the fan of Unhappy Waitress. Hot Manager told me about his pinings. "She is so cute, and those glasses I just don't know what it is...blah blah blah" Uh nah buddy, you gotta be this tall (raises hand over head) to ride this ride.

I wish I did like my job. But honestly if I wasn't working my way onto the bar. Well, behind it not on it, I would quit. Fast and now. But for now, interents, I'm holding onto my apron strings and hoping things get better.....

In the mean time I can fully entertain you with my antics, thoughts and stories!

Thanks for stopping in today folks. Come back soon and visit!!!!