Fresh Meat

In my particular work place, when new front of the house employees get hired, they might as well be stamped "FRESH MEAT". Nothing sexist about it but most always, the newbies are female and young so the male portion of the staff (which is mostly the BOH staff, a few servers and a hot to trot manager) go gaga. It's a race to see who can bed her first. If she's smart she doesn't fall into the attention, forget about her well meaning boyfriend at home, get all psycho and obsessed (because most likely after said male staff is done with her there is a new batch of fresh meat) and get left with no boyfriend, a crappy job and no respect.

Usually, they're not that smart.

We've all been there. Not getting the attention we want from out significant other and the cute cook at work keeps making eye contact and flirting with you all night. Or the young, sexy manager who knows he can talk his way into the pants of any of his employees just won't stop flirtatiously picking on you. What to do??

Some advice ladies, RUN! Because most likely if you decide "what can it hurt?", it's gonna end up messy. It almost NEVER (strike that it NEVER) remains a secret. She thinks there is that one person within the restaurant that has taken her in under their wing and she can trust them. No you can't. I have trusted and I won't lie, I have been the one trusted. They feed of gossip and drama. The person you so innocently "trusted" will tell her best friend who will tell the girl that said BOH employee is supposedly (even though neither of them will admit to it but they close together, leave together, flirt non-stop, and have on occasion been caught walking out of dry-storage at the same time a bit flustered...) sleeping with. Then she (who happens to be the alpha server and if she doesn't like you noone does) hates you. Now you are "that new girl". Come on servers of america, you know which one i'm talking about. The one who you say:

"She just thinks she can just prance on in here, with her hair all cute, flirt
with hot manager and get what exactly? He only wants to sleep with her and
she thinks he likes her. Does she realize who she's messing with? Plus she's
a terrible server, the other day I watched her (insert ridiculous, random
comment HERE ex: hand a guest her water and she TOUCHED the top half of the glass, soo agianst the 50/50 rule and the lemon was just thrown in.). She should just quit."

I am sorry "New Girl". I have been there and I have been you. And still I have made you feel as alienated as I once did. But alas, I have earned my keep and earned my status and the respect of my fellow servers, hosts, cooks etc. You will sadly have to do the same. I will, however share an excerpt of my story of survival with you:

I am what you could call a lifer I suppose. For everytime I leave the
restaurant I work at I seem to eventually come back. However the first stint as
an employee was the only time I was "the New Girl". I was young, lacked self
confidence, shy and quiet (yes, me) and about forty pounds heavier then I am
now. And I was a host. I started off terrrrrible. With no training I didn't know
the table numbers, I double sat people, I gave the servers with seniority crappy
tables and that was a big NO NO. The "cool manager" hated me. So therefore, I
was not liked. At all. I tried to make friends and conversation but it was
always strained and akward. Nevermind that I had a crazy boyfriend who worked
there before I did and everyone hated him. But he quit finally. That did NOT
make it better though. It all changed one night when I was walking around
the restaurant collecting menus. I heard a guest threaten the "cool manager". I
was the only one around to hear it. This was my in. She came up front,
reasonably angry. This man had threatened her and was going to call corporate
and blame her. She already had guest complaints. And noone had heard. But I had
heard. I told "cool manager". I wrote my statement. I was in. I wasn't the new
girl any longer. Now upon my next two restaurant comebacks I was already in. I
was old-school. I was known. I was no longer shy. I was the loud, funny, quirky,
cute, confident server I am today. Skinnier too!" (Stay tuned for hilarious
excerpts and continuations of this story and ones just like it!)

My "New Girl" experience was not solely about getting ravaged by the male staff but getting broken down by the vultures otherwise known as my co-workers. It is not that bad at work anymore. It used to be brutal. It now just sucks. It's ok "New Girl". You will be accepted one day. You will help the right person and be welcomed into the circle. Or, you'll be weakened and you'll quit...